Tammy
Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I'm a family member

I am the mother of a beautiful, precious, 16-year-old nonverbal daughter named Shelby. She was a healthy baby girl until 4 weeks old, when she got her first vaccinations. She got sick that night and has been sick ever since. Despite her health issues, she spoke and sang all the time until, at 3, she stopped and went into her own world. I had been telling her pediatrician that her talking had been slowing down and that some other things weren’t quite right. But I was told to “stop being an overprotective mother and get a grip.” Well, I have gotten a grip! I get a grip when I have to deal with the reality that my only child will not outlive me. I get a grip whenever I think about what is going to happen to her if I suddenly die. I get a grip every month when the nurse administers her gamma globulin infusions. I get a grip when I have to take her out of school (which she loves) because she’s gotten another sinus infection. I get a grip when she tells me on her communicator that she wants to be like everyone else and talk with her voice. Sometimes, I lose my grip when I dwell on these things, but then I ask God to help me regain my grip.

Shelby does not see people the way we do. She doesn’t notice anyone’s skin color or appearance. She looks straight into their hearts and loves everyone, and those who bother to take the time to get to know her are blessed. Shelby is a constant lesson in trusting God for everything in our lives. She has taught me to look at people from a “walking in their shoes” perspective. Currently, I am working as a substitute teacher for Shelby’s school district and get to be her substitute once in a while. Before Shelby, I never noticed special-needs children. Now, I go out of my way to let them know they are noticed and appreciated. I recently started a support group for parents of special-needs kids in my area. These parents need each other more than they know. I don’t know what the future holds for Shelby and me, and I worry about that. But life is worth living because of Shelby's sweet spirit and precious smile. So, I guess for now I have gotten a grip.